I’ve been around the bookish world for enough time to notice certain things. One of them is that I really like books, to read them, enjoy them, sniff them (there, I said it!) and get happy every time I get a new one.
Another one is the great experience and happiness that not only a new book can bring, but also the people you get to know through books. Maybe through book tours, through blog hops, youtube or simply through your followers on instagram, it’s incredible the way you can find other people with your same interests and even with the same craziness for books.
And this second thing is the one that seems contradictory to me at times. Why? Well, because I’ve found several times that some people (fangirls, fanboys insert your name here), think or feel they’re just too weird and out of this world to make friends in real life producing a lonely feeling in their lives. I know people who may have thousands of followers and still feel rejected or incapable of socialize with their classmates.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been there too. I’m 29 now, but when I was in my teen years, I went trough the same ‘season’ in my life. I was an otaku, yes, those who have an incredible fascination for anime and Japanese culture. I found myself trying to find people with the same interests in order for them to be my friends but not only that, I also managed to undermine those with different hobbies, you know, the ‘ordinary kind’ of people. Does this ring a bell? Somehow I got caught in this mentality of ‘belonging’ in order to be someone.
But you don’t get it Angel, kids at my school are totally illiterate, uncivilized, like neanderthals!!! Yes I get it, but if don’t take time to get to know them you’re not gonna know for real how illiterate they truly are. Ok no, I was just kidding. The truth is that you need to invest yourself in them in order to discover the value each one of them have for what they are, not for what they know or for how irritating they may be.
My happy ending…
The truth is that while some of us may not have a natural tendency to make friends or to socialize, we all have a tendency to feel accepted or be loved. It’s totally natural, and because it’s totally natural, it’s totally fixable, both things!. For me it worked this way:
First, it was about God: I had to realize that my need to belong and to be accepted could only be found in God, the one who made me (duh!). Friends with same interests wouldn’t satisfy my need, more anime or manga seemed to satisfy my need, but only for a couple of days, maybe months, but not always.
Second, it was about me: Believe me, I was the shyest person ever! I would hide behind others in order to feel safe. I wouldn’t volunteer for anything. But it was just when I realized I was loved by God, that what people could think about me was less important. But this definitely requires a bold step from your part. It’s actually you the one that have to talk to another person and say hi! and then keep on saying hi! for several times, until you make some new friends.
Yes, I’m not kidding, there are no shortcuts, there may be some painkillers like more books, more followers or more likes; but the effect will pass, trust me. If you want a solution, look for something bigger or in this case, someone bigger.
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